A Punch to the Guts

This morning I’m walking around dazed and stunned. Bridgette went to the vet yesterday. Her tail stopped wagging like normal and her appetitive decreased. It seems every time I go to the vets the news isn’t good. Bridgette has cancer among other things like arthritis, anemia and some bad teeth.
There are lots of little tumors in her lungs, a nice size tumor at the base of her spine and one of her anal glands has a tumor. She has to be put her down soon. The tumor at her anal gland is already impacting her ability to go to the bathroom. Her poop comes out one side flat the other side round. Much more growth and she’ll be completely stopped up.
I’m stunned. I guess I shouldn’t be. She is ~14 years old and in great health otherwise. We still walk just about everyday, she plays with other dogs at the park and seems to be her usual self. As a pet owner, who has seen her everyday for the last 12+ years, sometimes you don’t notice the little things that might tip you off sooner. I never noticed she was getting indentions above her eyes until the vet pointed them out. She gets her head rubbed everyday. How did I miss that?
For now she is on antibiotics and prednisone. The prednisone should help perk her up a bit more and increase her appetitive. Since she still has a relatively good quality of life, I’m going to be selfish and keep her around for a few more weeks. Through all the years, I’ve always said I’m not going to be that dog owner that hangs on too long, that I’d rather put her down with a few good weeks left, then have her suffer for a few weeks because I didn’t want to let go. To me, being kind and letting your dog go out on top is the best thing a dog owner can do. I’ve already chosen a tentative date, and I’m not looking forward to it showing up. Hopefully she’ll respond well to her drugs and maybe I’ll get to keep her for a another week or so. I hope so anyway.