A Punch to the Guts

This morning I’m walking around dazed and stunned. Bridgette went to the vet yesterday. Her tail stopped wagging like normal and her appetitive decreased. It seems every time I go to the vets the news isn’t good. Bridgette has cancer among other things like arthritis, anemia and some bad teeth.
There are lots of little tumors in her lungs, a nice size tumor at the base of her spine and one of her anal glands has a tumor. She has to be put her down soon. The tumor at her anal gland is already impacting her ability to go to the bathroom. Her poop comes out one side flat the other side round. Much more growth and she’ll be completely stopped up.
I’m stunned. I guess I shouldn’t be. She is ~14 years old and in great health otherwise. We still walk just about everyday, she plays with other dogs at the park and seems to be her usual self. As a pet owner, who has seen her everyday for the last 12+ years, sometimes you don’t notice the little things that might tip you off sooner. I never noticed she was getting indentions above her eyes until the vet pointed them out. She gets her head rubbed everyday. How did I miss that?
For now she is on antibiotics and prednisone. The prednisone should help perk her up a bit more and increase her appetitive. Since she still has a relatively good quality of life, I’m going to be selfish and keep her around for a few more weeks. Through all the years, I’ve always said I’m not going to be that dog owner that hangs on too long, that I’d rather put her down with a few good weeks left, then have her suffer for a few weeks because I didn’t want to let go. To me, being kind and letting your dog go out on top is the best thing a dog owner can do. I’ve already chosen a tentative date, and I’m not looking forward to it showing up. Hopefully she’ll respond well to her drugs and maybe I’ll get to keep her for a another week or so. I hope so anyway.

Goodbye Gabi

It’s hard to say goodbye to your dog.  What do you do when you know you only have 5 hours left? We walked through the wash with my other dog, I brushed her, sat on the floor petting her and took lots of pics.  All the changes I’m going to face without her.  No more tripping over her when I get up from the couch, dinner table or out of bed.  I won’t have to be careful opening the front door after my runs anymore.  She won’t be there laying against the door waiting for me to come home. No more cleaning up after her when I’d get home from a trip.  She won’t pee on the floor anymore because she is so excited to see me again.  If I got up from the couch and moved, she got up and moved with me.  Go to the bedroom, she followed me.  Go from there to the office, she went also. Walked in circles so did she. This is the dog who would lower her head and plow through someone to get to me to say hi because running around them would be to far out of the way.

I don’t want to be the pet owner that hangs onto their dog for too long.  There really is nothing that can be done, everything would be managing a terminal process.  Having her here would be great, I love my dog. But having her here and suffering would be horrible.  I’d rather her be put down with a few good weeks left rather then suffer for those extra weeks just so I could walk her again or have her wait for me to come back from my run. It really sucks, I’m going to miss her.

Goodbye Gabi.  I love you, thank you for suckering Mimi into making us adopt you.  I’m going to miss you, more then you realize.